Your Ex and Facebook
Written by Chantelle Campbell
Over the past couple of weeks I have seen in a couple of single parent Facebook groups, a few different postings of people getting upset by what they have seen on their ex's Facebook page. Yes curiosity of what your ex is up to is only natural, but why do it to yourself? I have nothing against befriending an ex of the distant past that you no longer have any ties to, I've befriended a few ex's over the years, but when it comes to your children's other parent, unless you guys have a remarkable co-parenting relationship and get on great, don't do it, don't even stalk their page, there is very little positive that will come of it.
I started writing this post a couple of days ago, but it got put on the back burner when I had to stop to do something else (as happens quite often). Coincidentally, I awoke yesterday to find a friend request from my children's father, so I am sparked back into completing this post. I laughed when I saw his request, this is a guy who can't even reply to my texts about the children, and he sends me a friend request - ironic. I wouldn't even begin to know why he would do that, heck his partner doesn't even like me texting his phone in regards to the children, so I can only assume that he either wanted to see what I am up to for some reason, or he wanted me to see what was happening in his life. Did I accept his request? You guessed it, not on your life. I have no interest in seeing what is going on in his life and haven't for years. I purposely don't check out his page, as it's none of my business what he does in his life. As long as my children return home from his care happy and safe, then it is none of my business what he does in his life, and the same applies in my life. So I sent him back a brief amusing message telling him that I would be declining his request, and hit the delete request button. He sent back a message laughing and letting me know all was good.
Why not to stalk your ex's Facebook page, or befriend them:
Very rarely are there going to be positives from stalking your ex's Facebook page or befriending them. Don't upset yourself by what they are or are not doing. You have to co-parent with this person for the rest of your lives, so try and keep the relationship with them as positive as possible, even if they are presently absent from your child's life - there may be a time when the re-enter into it. Remember that children are more likely to thrive when they see that their parents can get along, instead of fighting and bickering. Keep focused on your own life and doing the amazing job that you are doing raising your children.