Wow, it has been six months since I last made a blog post, how slack have I been! It is easy to to put things to the back of the to do list when you have so much going on, and even when there's not so much going on I have just not remembered.
With 6 months left to go with my degree (hopefully I pass the next 6 months), it has been weighing heavily on my mind over the past month what my next steps will be. I started this degree with the goal in mind to work with single parent families once I was finished, and to help support them on their journey through single parenthood. I kind of lost that after being bogged down with study, kids, work, placement and the other of life's trivias, but now that I am so close to the end, it is all coming back to me.
So I have now decided to resurrect the blog, and to start putting daily time back into the website. You guys come here because you are looking for support, and if I am blatantly honest, there has not been a lot of support found here of recent. But I am committed to change that, and I shall try my best to make postings at least three times a week, my aim is to be daily, but reality just states that it will more likely be 3 times a week.
So there we have it, the blog will be resurrected and I will also try to resurrect the message boards. Wish me luck :-)
Loneliness is one of the big factors that single parents find themselves experiencing. I am an admin for a Facebook support group for single parents, and loneliness quite often comes up as a topic of discussion. Whether it's once the kids are in bed at night, or they have gone to spend time with their other parent, or you have an important celebration to attend, or you are just climbing into a cold bed at night wishing you had someone to cuddle up to, loneliness rears its ugly head.
I see loneliness as a process that you go through as you adjust to being on your own, and learning to find yourself. I won't deny it, I still get fleeting bouts of loneliness, but that is all they are these days, just fleeting moments of wanting someone to cuddle up to, to talk about my day, and to make plans with. I can't say that you will get to the stage of where loneliness will never occur, as you would have to be a pretty insensitive hermit to not experience it, but there are ways to limit it and lessen it's effects on you, after all, loneliness could just lead you into a disastrous relationship if you do not deal with it properly.
In the first year or two, it is a commonality to experience severe bouts of loneliness, especially as you adjust to being on your own. It is important that you focus on yourself and your children during this time, work on healing your heart and get your emotions in check. A break up is a huge hit to our self confidence, self esteem and and self worth. Not only are we trying to deal with our emotions the best we can, we also have our children who are hurting and adjusting to the new situation. A new relationship is not going to fix everything, it will only be a temporary band aid over the scar.
To find solitude it is important to focus on yourself, and create a happy balance. Here are my suggestions to help in searching for solitude;
All these processes will help you on your path to finding yourself, and to loving your self. Self love is the key to dealing with loneliness, and finding comfort within solitude!
Hi I'm Chon, I am in my early 30's and I have two wonderful boys who are 12 and 7 years old. I have just completed my degree as a fulltime student, as well as being a fulltime parent, and now I am in job search mode. I have decided to blog my journey to not only help myself, but to help others out there in similar situations. In solidarity we grow, not only in strength, but in mind and heart!